


Sasuke and His Emotionally-Stunted Ass

by danehemmings



Series: Sasuke and the Idiot [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 02:15:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8384104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danehemmings/pseuds/danehemmings
Summary: Sasuke meets Naruto's parents. He's not entirely thrilled.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of an epilogue to Sasuke and the Idiot.

Sasuke was fucked. Not literally- he and Naruto had only been on a handful of dates, after all, and he wasn't a whore- but figuratively, he was fucked. Madara Uchiha loathed Minato Namikaze. If he knew that Sasuke was dating Minato's son, god knows how many people he would murder. 

Sasuke tried to lay low, to avoid raising suspicion from his uncle. He and Naruto would usually meet up late at night, when Hashirama has slunk into Madara's bed. They'd part ways before the sun could rise, and before Hashirama could creep out of Madara's bed. It was a system that seemed flawless.

Until this morning, when Naruto informed him that Minato was dying to meet his son's new man. Sasuke sent a very long, very angry text explaining why he would never be able too have dinner at the Namikaze household, but Naruto responded with a simple 'see you there!'. Which meant that Sasuke was now forced to go eat dinner with his uncle's enemies. Naruto was more trouble than he was worth. 

The horror of meeting Naruto's parents was doubled by the fact that Madara decided he was going to take a day off from terrorizing the streets of Konaha. He'd invited Sasuke to breakfast, which was a painfully awkward and disturbing affair (Madara -hopefully- joked that he'd scrambled the blood of his enemies in along with the eggs). 

Afterward, Madara insisted that Sasuke spend the day with him. Sasuke considered gouging his own eyes out about twenty times during those long hours. Madara was oblivious to his increasing discomfort, or, more likely, he was enjoying it. He smiled merrily as he recalled the many times he was forced to kill a traitorous employee. Sasuke had the brief and terrifying notion that maybe Madara knew about Naruto, and was going to kill him, but his uncle never mentioned the idiot.

The time he had agreed to meet at the Namikaze household was drawing nearer, and Sasuke had yet to come up with a good excuse to ditch his uncle. They were marathoning some crime show, Sasuke wasn't really watching, but Madara seemed engrossed, and he gathered up his courage as an episode came to an end. 

He took a deep breath, and stood, “Uncle, I have to go.”

Madara looked up at him and narrowed his eyes, “Is there something more important to you than the man who saved you from a hopeless life on the streets?”

Fuck. Sasuke decided to stick as close to the truth as possible, “I have a date.” 

“A date?” Madara looked shocked, the fucker, “I didn't realize you were interested in dating.” 

“I'm not, really,” He tried to maintain a casual expression, “Its a one night thing.”

“Oh? Orochimaru will be disappointed,” His uncle found great joy in the look of disgust that crossed Sasuke's face, “Unless its Orochimaru you're meeting.”

“Never,” Sasuke nearly vomited at the thought, “I'll be going now.” He stepped towards the door, but Madara's voice made him freeze.

“Sasuke?” His voice was oozing with pure evil. 

Sasuke turned around, his heart hammering, “Yes, Madara?”

“Have fun!”

~~

Sasuke was grateful to have escaped Madara unscathed. He may have lost his cool internally, but his uncle hadn't rushed off to feast on the blood of innocents, so he was in the clear. For at least the ten minutes it took to get to the mayor's house. 

Sasuke was staring menacingly at the door, contemplating the pros and cons of skipping dinner. Pros – he wouldn't have to face the man Madara described as 'a yellow-haired piece of complete and utter shit'. Cons – the yellow-haired piece of shit's son would be mad, and possibly sad. Sasuke could take the anger, he and Naruto were prone to fighting anyways, but when the idiot was sad, it was scary for the Uchiha. When Naruto made that face, the one where he looked like a kicked puppy, Sasuke felt revolting feelings like compassion and guilt. 

He sighed. Naruto was ruining his life. Sasuke raised a hand and rung the doorbell. He straightened his tie, and cringed at realization of how much effort he was putting into this bullshit. He wore a tie, for some blonde idiot. He was besmirching the Uchiha name.

Some yelling went on from inside, and then the door was opened by a red haired woman. She smiled at him, “Hello, you must be Sasuke! I'm Kushina, Naruto's mom.”

He shook her hand and followed her inside, “Its very nice to meet you, Kushina. Naruto's told me a lot about you.” He forced a smile.

In truth, Naruto had said little of his mother. When his parents came up, the idiot would ramble on about how Minato wasn't as bad as Madara claimed, and he'd avoid the subject of Kushina completely. Sasuke wasn't one to push, he'd never uttered a word about his own parents to Naruto, and so what he knew of Kushina consisted only of what had made it to the news. Which was next to nothing. Sasuke had googled her on the way over, and he could only find one article, which talked about how beautiful the mayor's wife was. That, and that she came from a long line of lawyers. 

But Kushina didn't need to know she wasn't her son's favorite topic of conversation. And she didn't need to know that each time Sasuke smiled, a small part of him shriveled up and died. 

Naruto's mother grinned at Sasuke and started towards the kitchen, “He's told us a lot about you, too, Sasuke,” Not good. He worked for an evil psychopath. “You're the only thing he talks about, these days. Its very sweet how close the two of you have gotten.”

Sasuke was under the impression that they weren't that close, but then again, here he is, meeting the idiot's parents. At least one of which was perfectly aware of his criminal activity. He opened his mouth to spew out some lie regarding how much he cared for Naruto, when the blonde himself came barreling into the hallway. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto halted upon sighting him, and broke into one of his breath-taking smiles, “You're here!”

Kushina's grin turned maniacal, “Naruto. Please don't run in this house. Its dangerous.”

Sasuke felt the cold threat of death looming in the air, and stepped past Kushina to give his- boyfriend? Lover?- acquaintance a peck on the lips. He was beginning to understand why Naruto never brought up Kushina. He smirked at the idiot, who was staring wide-eyed in fear at his mother, and said, “Your mom is right, Naruto. You could trip and get hurt.” 

“Uh,” The blonde, with some effort, turned his gaze to Sasuke, “I'm glad you could make it.”

Sasuke frowned slightly. Glad he could make it? As if there was a possibility he'd let the idiot down? Sasuke felt a little insulted that Naruto didn't have much faith that he could come. He swore to himself to make the idiot pay at a later date, when his parents weren't around. 

“Of course I made it,” He grumbled. Naruto's mouth twitched, as if he was holding back a smile. Bastard.

The stench of death stopped radiating from Kushina, and she was once again cheery as she spoke, “Let's go into the kitchen, then, and see how Minato is doing with dinner.”

They walked down the hallway, and through the doorway Naruto had hurtled past moments before. Minato Namikaze was wearing an apron and gazing determinedly at the contents of a saucepan on the stove. It was a strange sight to Sasuke, who had only glimpsed the mayor in the paper. Madara, of course, had told him all about the man, about how he had a horrifyingly evil nature, and dead, soulless eyes. 

Minato turned towards them as they entered, pulling his decidedly not-soulless eyes from his cooking. “Ah,” He smiled, “Sasuke Uchiha! I'm so happy to finally meet you.” He stretched out a hand.

Sasuke took it, and forced another smile, “The pleasure is all mine, sir.”

“Minato is just fine, Sasuke,” His smile greatly resembled his son's, although Naruto's was somehow more carefree.

Naruto snorted, “Sir?”

Kushina smacked the back of Naruto's head, “Naruto! He was being polite!” 

“Sorry, Mom,” Naruto slumped his shoulders somewhat.

“Don't apologize to me! Apologize to Sasuke!”

Sasuke threw his arm around the blonde, “It's alright, I'm not upset,” Naruto could probably tell he was lying, but that was for the best.

Kushina shook her head at her son, and Minato laughed, “Its lucky Naruto's found someone that can put up with him,” He reached to turn the stove off, “Dinner's ready. I hope you like pasta!”

 

~

The night went surprisingly well after that. Minato was the complete opposite of what Madara described. He was kind. Very kind. And, despite her terrifying temper, so was Kushina. They grilled him for the first half hour or so, asking if he'd been treating Naruto well, but after he swore to a riled-up Kushina that he'd never hurt the idiot, Minato and his wife relaxed, and Sasuke and Naruto stopped sweating. 

Sasuke found that he was enjoying being around such pleasant people. The thought made him cringe, and possibly panic a bit, and so he reached for Naruto's hand underneath the table.

Naruto, who'd been chatting away about some ramen shop, squeezed Sasuke's hand. 

“Oh, you two are so cute!” Kushina smiled. Did she know they were holding hands? Fuck.

He wasn't offended by being called cute. He gripped Naruto's hand tighter. What had become of him? Did, good god, did he actually like Naruto's parents?

“Er,” Naruto glanced at Sasuke,” Thanks, Mom.”

Maybe he'd been spending too much time with the idiot lately. Maybe Naruto was starting to rub off on him. Sasuke felt as if he was loosing sight of himself. He'd always pictured himself taking over Madara's business, and living alone, putting others down as he grew old and rich. Now he saw himself proposing to Naruto, becoming the mayor's son-in-law, growing old with Naruto. It was enough to make his shudder.

“Are you alright, Sasuke?” Minato frowned at him.

Naruto started rubbing little circles on the back of Sasuke's hand with his thumb. It helped calm him down. “I'm fine, thanks,” He glanced at Naruto, and gave a small, genuine smile. Another piece of his soul shriveled.

“I think he's catching a cold, actually,” Naruto said, releasing Sasuke's hand. He stood up, “Perhaps I'd better take him home.”

“We've only just finished dessert, Naruto,” Kushina objected, “I thought we could talk a little more...”

Sasuke remained in his seat, and looked up at Naruto. Its as if the idiot knew this was getting to be too much for him. An unspeakable emotion erupted from his chest. Sasuke vaguely wondered if Madara would kick him out on the streets for feeling such a thing.

“We can stay,” Sasuke said, his gaze still fixed on Naruto. Was he even an Uchiha anymore? He hadn't slept with the moron, and yet he was having feelings. He repressed another shudder.

Minato looked at them knowingly, “Its getting quite late, Kushina, Let Naruto take Sasuke home.”

“Yeah!” Naruto exclaimed, “We've been sitting here for hours!” 

Kushina sighed, “Alright, alright,” She turned to Sasuke, “Come over again sometime, will you?”

“Of course,” said Sasuke.

~

They decided to walk to Madara's mansion. Naruto was silent for once, and they strolled leisurely through the city. Sasuke grabbed the idiot's hand again. And stared resolutely at the ground when Naruto looked at him in surprise.

“What's with you?” The idiot asked, lacing their fingers together.

“Nothing,” Sasuke said rather angrily. Naruto didn't need to know what he was thinking. He was just some idiot. Not important at all.

“Okay,” Naruto changed the subject, “I thought tonight went well. My mom loves you.”

“Great,” They stopped, waiting to cross the street, “But does she know I work for a crazed drug-lord?”

“Uh, I assume my dad's told her, yeah,” Naruto peered into Sasuke's eyes. Sasuke made sure to stay expressionless. The idiot would not see through him, dammit.

“I don't understand why I haven't been arrested,” Sasuke muttered. They crossed the street, still hand in hand.

“I don't know, really,” Naruto said thoughtfully, “I think there's not enough evidence yet, or something. But even if there was, if my dad could arrest you, he wouldn't. I mean, you've met him now. He wouldn't hurt someone I care about.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

They continued in silence. Sasuke doubted that Minato had the influence to stop the government from throwing his ass in jail. But, then again, Sasuke hadn't run from the city, and so maybe he had a little faith in the mayor. Or the mayor's son. The bastard. Sasuke tried to conjure up the memory of Naruto slipping on a banana on the sidewalk a week ago. That had been a moronic thing to do. A repulsive thing to do. An Uchiha didn't date an idiot. Except, Sasuke was smirking at the memory in a fond way, not in the classic arrogant Uchiha way. His father would be so disappointed.

“Sasuke?” Naruto said. He tried to peer into Sasuke's eyes again. 

Sasuke had to steer Naruto sideways; he'd almost walked straight into a lamppost, “What is it?”

“There's nothing wrong with having emotions, ya know,” Naruto grinned, and pulled their hands upward to kiss Sasuke's fingers, “Nothing wrong with caring about someone.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Sasuke scoffed, “I'm not nearly as stupid as you. You don't need to tell me how this shit works.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You don't believe me?” Sasuke was indignant.

“You hardly ever tell me what you're feeling, so obviously you don't know how this shit works,” Naruto huffed, frustrated.

“Oh, obviously,” Sasuke repeated sarcastically, “You know me so well, Naruto.”

“I do,” Naruto said matter-of-factly, “That's why I haven't dumped your emotionally stunted ass!”

Sasuke glanced down at their entwined hands in disgust, “I wonder why I haven't dumped your dumb ass,” He grumbled, “You're more trouble than you're worth.”

“I'll tell you why,” Naruto grinned, which irritated Sasuke to no end, “It's because you're in lo-”

“Nope,” Sasuke cut him off, “I'm emotionally stunted, you were right about that, so I can't feel an emotion as complicated as you're thinking.”

“Okay,” The infuriating idiot kept smiling, “But if you had the capacity for it, it'd be perfectly fine and not at all something to be afraid of. Or something to hide, yeah?”

“Whatever,” Sasuke said dismissively. They were almost to Madara's and he was looking forward to putting this bullshit night behind him. If he could just get to Madara's, then he'd never have to discuss his feelings with Naruto again. Or, he'd come up with a plan to dodge all of the idiot's prying questions. He'd shove his feelings down so deep he'd be a true Uchiha.

When the mansion was just around the corner, they stopped. Sasuke didn't want Naruto to be seen by Madara. He looked too much like his father. 

“See you tomorrow,” Sasuke said hurriedly, hoping to get away as quickly as possible.

Naruto didn't let go of Sasuke's hand, “You think you could sneak me in there some night?”

“You think I want to risk both of our lives just to we can fool around in my room?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the blonde, and tried to free his hand.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whined, “You could do it so easily. You're always complaining about how Madara's so obnoxious with Hashirama, he'd never notice.”

“Some other time,” Sasuke wrenched his hand free.

“Okay,” Naruto stared dejectedly at the pavement. He glanced upwards, his eyes brimming with hurt.

“I-” Sasuke was feeling too many things with Naruto looking like that, “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Naruto said sadly.

“You know!” Sasuke snapped. It was the damned kicked-puppy look.

“Oh,” Naruto sighed, “I guess you want me to go now. Goodnight, Sasuke,” He took a few steps back the way they came, dragging his feet.

Sasuke lifted his head towards the sky. The idiot knew exactly how to play him. Worse still, Sasuke didn't even mind. “C'mon then,” He called.

Naruto turned around so fast he tripped and fell. He scrambled up and ran straight into Sasuke, throwing his arms around the other man. Sasuke nearly lost his balance.

“You mean it?” Naruto said excitedly, pulling Sasuke around the corner,“I get to see the mansion?”

“Yes,” Sasuke said, “But I'm already regretting it, so be quiet.”

“Yeah, okay,” Naruto whispered.

They only made it one more step before Naruto literally threw himself at Sasuke for another hug. This time, Sasuke did lose his balance, and they went toppling to the ground.

“Sorry!” Naruto rubbed at his head, “This is just so exciting!”

Sasuke smiled fondly at the blonde, “Idiot.”


End file.
